Draco's Cake Attempt
by From Spark to Flame
Summary: I told Neville I'd bake the cake for Luna's surprise party, but I have a meeting. He'd probably burn the house down if he tried to bake a cake." "So you want me to make it? Who is to say that I won't burn the house down either? I'll fail! Epically!" DMHG


Disclaimer: The HP Series belongs to JKR.

A/N: This is the fic reqested by the winner of my little contest. The one that had been on my profile. Yay for cake! And for her brilliant idea. Fantasia-49 rocks my world!

OH- and I mean no offense to Germans in this. That is not my belief, but rather, Draco's excuse to not bake. (You'll see what I'm talking about) Hehe.

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/Patty cake, Patty cake/

"A cake? What do you mean by a cake? Are you crazy? Do you want me to burn the house down?' Draco questioned rhetorically with his arms thrown up in the air.

Hermione gave a sigh and plopped down on a chair with a shrug of her shoulders. A hand went to her temple, messaging the oncoming headache. "I don't know Draco. What can I do? I hadn't realized I had this meeting when I told Neville I'd bake the cake for Luna's surprise party. You know how horrible he was at potions. He'd probably burn the house down if he tried to bake a cake," she responded tiredly. Her eyelids fluttered closed for a moment as a yawn wracked through her body.

"So you want me to make it? Who is to say that I won't burn the house down either? It's not too hard to get a fire going!" Draco whined in an effort to get out of the task- cooking really wasn't his thing. "I'm going to fail! Epically!"

"No you aren't. You are going to bake a cake. And you are going to make it a nice one. Please do this for me. It's not to hard. It's just going to be a German Chocolate Cake."

"That's not supposed to be hard?! But it's German! Everyone knows Germans are big, hard, meanie heads," he announced, snickering slightly at his sentance. Hermione rolled her eyes at her husband, amazed that she had married such a dunderhead.

"Please do this Draco," Hermione pleaded.

Draco gave a snort and mumbled under his breath. "If we had a houself, w-" Hermione shot his an angry look which effectively shut him up. He could easily see the anger in her eyes and the "don't go there!" look on her face.

/Baker's man/

"Okay, so-" fortunately for Draco, Hermione didn't get to continue because a certain black haired, green eyed, lightning bolt scarred 'Chosen One' suddenly chose to enter their house in an effort to get Hermione to the meeting on time.

"Come on Mione. We need to get going. Get your butt off the chair," Harry said, grabbing Hermione's forearm and pulling her up. Hermione nodded and got up, shooting a look at Draco.

"Sorry Dray, but I have to go. Make the cake or else I'll tell Harry about what happened between you and the radio yesterday." A smirk settled upon Hermione's face as she regarded the panicked look on Draco's face.

Harry perked up and looked at Draco in interest. "Hmm. Care to tell me Mione?" he asked in earnest, raising an eyebrow at his friend's husband. The said husband had let out a squeak and covered Hermione's mouth with his hand before she could reply to Harry's question.

"You better not tell him!" Draco hissed in Hermione's ear lethally. Hermione just nodded, with a smirk on her face, knowing that her blackmail worked. Draco released her hesitantly.

"I left instructions for baking the cake on the kitchen counter. The ingredients are all in the pantry. Don't forget to wear an apron otherwise you'll get your cloths dirty! Don't burn the house down! Enjoy!" Hermione cried as she led Harry out of the house, leaving Draco staring at the closed door in horror.

Draco's footsteps echoed through the empty house, the sound bumping off the walls around him and bombarding his ears. The glossy tile floor of the kitchen shimmered up at him, sparkling and beaming so much that he could see a reflection of his face on the floor. He shivered as his sock-clad feet met the cold surface below. Goosebumps littered his skin as he made a note to turn on the heater later.

The cold of winter was already slowly creeping its way into the house as the snow piled outside. He puffed up his cheeks in thought. "Uh. Time to get started," he mumbled to himself with a sigh.

/Bake me a cake as fast as you can/

Draco walked over to counter, noting a post it note placed atop of the granite top. He opened a drawer, his gaze wracking over the light pink apron neatly folded inside. With a sigh, he pulled it out, unfolding it along the way. 'Woman in Pink' the apron read in various shades of pink. Draco gulped. "This is so degrading," he murmured under his breath in annoyance. But he pulled the apron on regardless.

He looked back up, picking the post it note up in his hand. The words were small and tightly squished together, obviously written hastily and in an effort to conserve paper. He sighed and glanced over at the pantry, were the ingredients were placed. He groaned in annoyance at the whole situation.

Draco squinted to make out the first sentence. 'Step 1: Stop groaning and moaning! You have to do this!' His eyes widened as he registered what the note said. His eyebrows furrowed in confuzzlement. He read on. 'No, I'm not watching you or anything. I just know you well. Now step 2 is to get out the ingredients.

/Roll it, Pat it/

Then, Draco proceeded to make quite a few mistakes, thusly completely messing up the cake.

He used the wrong flour. Instead of using the all-purpose sifted flour, he used the yeast-rising one. Luckily, the cake did not blow up in his face when he took it out of the oven.

The measurements were WAY off. Draco, not being able to find the cups and teaspoon stuff, resorted to eyeballing everything. His eyeball might have been a bit too big because all of the ingredients were out of proportions.

His effort to crack an egg failed. Instead, he ended up just frgettign it all and throwing the whole egg in the batter, eggshell and all.

Couldn't find sugar, so he substituted it with salt. They looked pretty much the same, so he decided that no one would notice.

He ended up butting himself with the whisk, though _how_ exactly he had done that, he did not know.

Once he poured the batter into a large plastic pan, he proceeded to write his name in the batter using his finger. After all, all artists signed their masterpieces.

And thusly, Draco proceeded to mess up in making a cake.

/And mark it with a D/

"DRACO! WHAT IS THIS?!"

Draco jumped up in alarm at the yelling that had erupted from someplace behind him. He spun around to meet the face of Hermione. The _angry_ face of Hermione. The said angry face was quite red. Draco could see the steam coming out of her ears and the cartoon-like vein throbbing in his forehead.

Frankly, Draco was afraid- _very_ afraid. He shrugged slightly, biting his lip.

Hermione only got angrier at his lack of reply. "What do you mean by shrugging?! Look at my kitchen!" Hermione yelled, gesturing at the mess everywhere. There was flour littering both the counters and the floor. Cracked, broken eggs lay in random spots, the yolk and the egg white leaking out in gross pools. The milk carton was tipped over, a pool of milk on the floor and some dripping from the spout of the carton. Little grains of chocolate were spread in a heap on the counter and Hermione could swear that she saw the pile moving. Never mind- those were ants.

Draco gave a weak chuckle, rubbing the back of his head. "Um, at least I didn't burn the house down," he pointed out with a blush on his face.

Hermione's eyes narrowed and she zeroed in on her husband, taking a step toward him. He took one back. She took one forward. He took one back. The pattern went until Draco's back was flush against the kitchen wall. "You are such an idiot," Hermione seethed, "You need t-"

Luckily for Draco, he was saved by the shrill beeping sound of the oven timer. "Heh, well you see 'Mione, the cake is done! I better go get it before the house DOES burn down." And thusly, he scurried away from Hermione's wrath, mentally knowing that he'd still have to face it eventually, along with cleaning up the kitchen.

A few hours later at the party, Neville wheeled in the cake on a small table. "It's time for cake!" he yelled out, bringing the cake over in front of Luna. Hermione's eye twitched as she regarded the cake, and Draco bit his lip nervously, hoping it was good. The birthday girl blew out her candles and started cutting out slices. Everyone grabbed a slice, all of them taking bites of the cake.

Over the next few minutes, Draco was showered with praises on how well he baked, most of them begging him to go make more. Draco smirked at everyone, puffing out his chest in pride. They all actually liked the cake, much to Draco's surprise. He was happy and proud.

But then, he went home, got some cleaning supplies and proceeded to fix up his mess with Hermione supervising. In his opinion, it was very degrading.

/Then put it in the oven for Luna and me/

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A/N: If you didn't notice, the poem thing lacing through it was 'patty cake.' I thought it fit perfectly! I totally loved writing this and I worked really hard on this for you Fantasia-49! I hope this shows my effort and makes up for the long wait!!!!!!!

One thing I find ironic is that I was baking brownies on the day that I started typing this up…The brownies were for my friends at school because it was the end of the school year! I was spazzing out today because it would be liek the last time I'd see certain friends of mine (because the school year is ending. It was our last day of math today). I got so many people's AIMs! Speaking of AIM, if anyone is bored, you can always ask for my AIm and chat with me. I HAVE NOTHING TO DO!

Oh and: after this, there are only 7 more ABCDMHG drabbles to go. T-Z. I'm already starting on T, so it'll be up soon!

Please review! Spread the love! Pleaaaaaaaaseeeee! Brownies for those who review. Haha, when I brought the brownies to school, one person was like 'These brownies are soo good. It's like an orgasm in my mouth.' Yay for mouthgasms!

XOXO  
Flame

PS: Woooooooooow! More than 1,900 words! Awesome...Actually, I had typed this fic up over two days (before that, I had been writing it on a piece of paper at school). I bet no one can guess where the break had been. I'll give you a hint, the whole thing gets like 10 times more descriptive at that point.


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